Saturday, March 22, 2008


Okay, that woman called me the night before last and after I had told her to call. By then, I'd written her off, especially as she seemed to have blown me off when I went to her office. Well, she said something that sounded like, "you're one of the ones I hired," but her phone was cutting out as it sounded like she was on her cell. So I wasn't sure I heard her right, you know? So I'm trying to listen through the gaps and static to hear the rest of what she's saying to try to get it from context. And first of all, I have no idea why this woman called me out of the blue to ask me to interview with her. I have NO experience in web design. I have never designed a website before. Well, there was this silly college thing that I did with free downloaded software, but that was a long time ago and it wasn't very good. So, using regular stuff, I haven't done it. I don't even have Dreamweaver. I'd like to, but I don't. But even when I took the Dreamweaver class, we didn't design a site from scratch. We worked from material that was already given to us. So I wouldn't know the first thing about it. But she called me because she'd seen my resume on the SAC job board. On top of that, without even really interviewing me, she hired me. Really. I'm not joking. I can't tell you how shocked I am. I'm SOOOOO not qualified for this job. I'll do my best, and I'll try to learn what I don't know, but the first job she's given me is a toughie. It should be simple. I'm just updating her website. See, just altering something that's already there, right? Wrong.

First, she doesn't have the original files for the site. The only version of the site is what's on the internet. The links don't work. So I had to get the main portion of her site from a link from another website that she designed. I guess I was just using it as a guide, because I couldn't connect to her site to download the files from there. It took forever. I finally got an FTP software that worked and connected and I downloaded the files. Problem solved, right? Wrong. There are TONS of extra files. It took an HOUR to download all of it. There's no way it should have taken that long or that much space. There must be about 40 or 50 folders that have nothing in them. A lot of files are just gibberish (not even HTML code--I know what that looks like). Some of them are from old versions of the website. Well, when you update a website, you're supposed to download the old files and upload the new files. You don't keep all of it on the server at the same time. PLUS, he even has files there that are from completely different websites, like not even her website at all. And all of it is there in her file. The stuff that IS from her website is all published and therefore, there aren't layers, so I can't alter what's already there. Maybe if I knew HTML I could, but GoLive won't let me alter it at all. This would have been SOOOO much easier with the original files, I can't even tell you. Not an easy project for me as my first one. And I told her to please give me easy stuff to start me out. Yeah, thanks.

So, I don't know where to start. I might have to just build it all from scratch and start all over. I'll have to prepare her for that, of course, as she liked that site and just wanted me to correct the errors the other guy left. I just don't know what to do. I wish she'd give it to the more experienced guy and let me do something else. But for some reason she trusts me to do it and she thinks I won't let her down. I'm terrified I will. I mean, I'm glad to have a job, at last, and I'm relieved, but at the same time, I feel like I can't do it and I'll end up looking again anyway. I just feel like I shouldn't get too excited about it in case it doesn't work out. It's starting out as part-time and at $10.00 an hour, but after her website gets updated (????) it could turn to full-time. I'm also hoping I'll do a good job (or else prove myself indispensable in other ways) so that I can angle for a raise down the line. I really don't want to lose this job!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Absentee blogger

Sorry I've been gone a while. First, I was just bummed from the job hunt. Plus, N moved to Austin. I just didn't feel good about it. AND R, C, and E are moving to LA. So, as soon as C headed off for LA, R came down here with E to spend some time in San Antonio, the city R and I were raised in. So, there were the obvious benefits of coming to a tourist city, but also, all her family is here and the food is much better than in FW. We had a blast touring sites around town and trying new food. Unfortunately, I discovered I love gelato! We also discovered this crepe place near my apartment. Sounds like French food, right? No. It's actually a Japanese place, but they serve crepes. Odd, but it's good and it's cheap. They even have frequent customer cards.

Then, R had to go back to FW and I rode with her. Not nearly as much to do up there. Really, it was pretty boring except for the company. Then, we were back in San Antonio again, having a good time until we were just worn out. I think there was no way we were getting enough sleep. I mean, we were staying up horribly late and then trying to sleep, but not succeeding with a little 4 year old talking right there. Well, R and E were trying to sleep on the floor, but Mom bought an air bed for them. But I could easily hear E's "whispering," which is basically a funny version of his usual loud toddler voice, in the next room even though my door was closed and I had the stereo on. Would be nice if kids came with a volume knob or something!

But R eventually had to go back up to FW. She had stuff to do on the house before closing. They accepted an offer on the house, but they had a really nitpicky inspector. What luck.

So I keep hoping they'll come back down before they leave for LA now that I've caught up on my sleep. However, I'm sure R isn't sleeping as well as I did now that things are quiet. Surely, it isn't as quiet in her household. But I am going out with a guy that I'll call RE. I don't know if it's really a romantic relationship or if we're just friends, but I'm fine with friends for now. I really can't feel really anxious to date again so soon after N, whom I never officially broke up with. It's just hard to see someone when they're in another city. RE seems nice as we met through also, and he's not pressuring me to do anything at all. In fact, hasn't brought anything I'm uncomfortable with up at all. We haven't even held hands, so it's a good slow speed, like I like. He also reminds me of N in some ways as he's interested in similar things, but doesn't have the aversion to fried food that N had. N was also somewhat of a vegetarian (most of the time), whereas RE eats meat, as do I. I guess I don't feel like I'm always trying to be as good as he is or something. That's not to say that N said I shouldn't eat meat or anything. He never did. Maybe it's just my own low self-esteem or something. But at least I've attracted some people and I've been dating, something I really haven't done much of. So that helps my ego a little bit. Plus, going to the meetups and meeting new people all the time helps my confidence level improve as well.

I had a "job interview" today and I wasn't even nervous at all. The thing that was most stressful was driving there, because there were TWO car accidents along my route and my map was wrong. Add on top of that the fact that the woman didn't give me directions to her office, so I'm out there going around and around the building looking for a suite 13 that you can only get to by going in one of the UNMARKED doors and going upstairs. Well, I had no clue there was even an upstairs as it wasn't clear from outside. There were only suites 1-6 and no signs or anything about anything else. I had to get help from someone in another office. Even that person didn't know exactly where suite 13 was, but helped me find the stairs (not as easy as it sounds--I'm not a complete moron, you know. I know what stairs look like, but these were hidden). Then, as if it wasn't already a mess (and I'm still not stressing out or getting butterflies at this point), I'm late and she's talking to someone else when I get there and is just basically chatting with this guy who's work she's oohing and aahing over, while she makes me fill out a job application. Then, she finally sees I'm done and comes over only to tell me she'll call me later. Yeah, that'll happen. I already know she's hiring the dude that she was chatting with, who's work she absolutely loved. Even worse, she kept slipping into Spanish talking to him, which seems a somewhat rude way to keep me from knowing what they were talking about. But, the office was a dump and there were only 2 workstations, and she's got one and someone else has the other. Don't know where I'd have been working as the office was only about the size of my itty bitty bedroom. I need a job, but I guess I don't have to feel too bad about not getting that one. Still, I'd have beared it if she gave me a chance. Even if she didn't seem like the smartest person in the world.

Oh well. But I'm trying not to lose hope. I will find a job eventually. Going to the meetups helps, as I'm networking. Last time I went out with RE, he had a couple of people from Meetup him and one of them was in HR and willing to help me. She just got laid off, though, so I feel bad for her as I know how companies are downsizing and it's hard to find a job right now. I keep hearing more and more people I know getting laid off. Scary. So, I'll look out for her and she's going to help me, too. The friend who was going to help me with my website and blog (other blog, not this one) to attract potential employers has been sick, so I haven't seen her. But I gather she's feeling better, so I may see her soon. Hope so.

Anyway, I've been busy, some of it good, some of it bad. Mostly good, though. I'll try to keep up with this better for the few people who still come back. I really appreciate the readers I have and the comments they leave. Thank you, thank you. I'll try to be a better blogger.