Tuesday, December 21, 2010

New Dosage

I went to the doctor on Friday. I have been feeling a little better on Abilify, despite the lack of sleep. I still have no energy, but am not sure that has to do with the drug or the lack of sleep either. So, my doctor decided to raise the dosage on the Abilify. I'm to see how I do on it for 1 week, then decide whether I want to stay on it or not. So far, this only makes for my 4th day, so I'm still not sure. I have noticed that I'm nauseous at times, although that may be that I need to take it with food. Did that this morning and yesterday morning and that seems better. My sleep schedule is about the same. I don't wake up as many times during the night as I did when I first started on the drug, but I'm up longer the one or two times I do wake up and I have trouble getting to sleep initially, even.

So, I'm still not sure I'll be staying on this drug. I wish I could paint or draw or something, but that ability went when I started on it. I suppose I just need more time to make a decision, but I'm really sick of being stuck at home.


Hiatt said...

This is my first time reading your blog. I am also bipolar and a fine art photographer. I'm debating right now whether I should alter my blog a little to include my bipolar experience. Right now my website is focused purely on photography. I'm feeling a little nervous about opening up to people about my condition. Did you have trouble thinking about this issue too when you started blogging?

Thanks and be well.

CJ said...

I think that for me, I'm not well known and I try to keep this as anonymous as possible. I don't think people know me from here, except maybe by my photography. So, I don't post my fine art stuff on here. I have a separate site with my photography (not a blog, though). Also, I think it's important for people to know that what they're going through isn't unique and that there are other people struggling with this disease out there. I think that it's important to see the ups as well as the downs. Also, I don't think it's very surprising that a lot of people in creative professions actually have bipolar disorder. I don't know why that is, but it seems extremely common, and for all I know, maybe a lot of people in creative professions have something like this going on, but haven't admitted it (or possibly been diagnosed). I know that treatment for the disease, for some reason, seems to hurt my creative abilities, and I'm trying hard to overcome that obstacle. Obviously, I feel drawn to art and want to continue doing it. I'm sorry to hear you were diagnosed because I know how hard that can be. Yes, there is still a stigma attached to the disease, but I think things are getting better. One of the things that would help would be education. People need to understand how the disease works, then they'll understand what you're going through and that it's not your fault your like this. That's my biggest issue right now with everyone. So, I'd just say that, if you're uncomfortable including the bipolar stuff on your website, not to do so. Have a separate blog devoted just to that. Don't include real names. I know I always use initials or fake names for people. I sincerely hope you will blog about this, because I think it helps you to express what you're going through and to receive feedback. I don't get a lot of feedback on here, so I appreciate your comment. It's nice to hear from other photographers. Are you receiving treatment for your bipolar disorder? If so, how have you managed to continue taking photographs and being creative? I'd appreciate some advice. I know other creative people, but none have been able to deal with this issue. Thanks for commenting and I hope you will post a link to your blog if you decide to go forward with it.